Easy Does It, or Alexander Is Great

Many years ago, a friend told me his sister needed a house-sitter. She and her partner turned out to be teachers of the Alexander Technique. This is a kind of bodywork that was created by a performer whose difficulty in breathing properly onstage ultimately led him to re-think how he used his body. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_technique

One of the core principles in Alexander work is learning to use the appropriate effort to accomplish a task--no more, no less. "Gladys," my friend's sister, pointed out that if you look at commercials on television the people are "brushing the teeth right out of their mouths." They are using much more effort than necessary.

Ring any bells?

Many of us over-invest in our clients, customers, employees.

Now, please don't misunderstand. I'm not advocating becoming passive or lazy, saying, "I've been working too hard. I think I'll just take the next week off." Or, "Who cares about you?"

No. I'm simply suggesting that when we over-invest we are less productive than when we invest appropriately. When we invest in an appropriate way, we maximize our ability to help the greatest number of people. Each relationship benefits as we do our part, but only our part.

I speak from experience. Years ago I was discussing a project with a client. He said, "You care about this more than I do."

He was right. And I was wrong.

When we over-invest we achieve poorer results in the relationship. And we rob ourselves of the energy we need for other projects, not to mention our life outside of work.

So why do we do it? That's a question for another time. For now, let's concentrate our efforts on breaking the pattern.

1. Take a moment to write the names of a few people you work with. If you're in your own business, choose a couple of customers or clients, a couple of employees, a couple of vendors, and a couple of subcontractors. If you're in-house, choose your employer and a couple of co-workers. If you report to a supervisor and/or have people who report to you, add their names. And if an agency sent you to the job, add your contact at the agency.

2. On a new sheet of paper, make five columns. Label the first column, "Name." Above the second column, write, "More Invested." Above the third column, write, "Less Invested." And above the fourth, write, "Equal Investment."

3. The first column obviously gets the names from your list. Give each name its own line. In the second column, write your name or the other person's name, depending on the level of investment you perceive. Do the same thing in the third and fourth column.

Et voila! You already know where you've been making more of an effort (where you're not being met halfway), where you've been making less of an effort (where you're not meeting the other person halfway), and where your business relationships are in balance. (And yes, you can also use this to take stock of personal relationships.)

4. Add as many key players as you can think of, and follow Steps One through Three to delineate the level of investment in each case.

And now what? What about Column Number Five?

Stay tuned.

©2011, 2012 Laynie Tzena.